LEGS FOR A FORTNIGHT: ACT 1, SCENE 2

well I guess it's that time of year again. the time of year when men and women of all ages flock like seagulls to a pile of 'fresh' garbage. wreck beach. even if it's not spelt that way wreck beach is somewhat of a wreck. maybe it's spelled rec beach, as in recreational beach. there aren't any wreckages on it, just a lot of naked people looking blend out their tan lines. this was my second venture to wreck/rec beach since living in vancouver. the first time was in february of 2011. i went with a few friends on a cloudy day when it was completely empty except for a guy with a bongo drum banging his rhythmic life towards the open ocean. it was actually a decently temperatured day and we all took our shirts off hoping that that punxsutawney phil was wrong, which he was. early spring that year i believe. anyway my gay friend charles who is more of a man than any of us could hope to be put us all to shame with his washboard abdomen. guy has a laugh that can be heard from at least 3 blocks away.
so this time the beach was packed full of naked, half naked, and fully not naked people. all shapes and sizes. natural, organic, free-range bodies wiggling in the afternoon sunlight. we were there to score some mushrooms from captain ron or whatever his name is. it took us about an hour to track the drug lord down but charles combed the titted beach and we had inch-thick-heart-shaped chocolates wrapped in gold tinfoil in a matter of minutes after that. we unwrapped them, had a cheers and popped them into our mouths like the eager, rebel boyscouts we were. the chocolate was very rich and none of us could taste the mushrooms. most drug users don't like the texture or taste of straight up dry psychedelic mushrooms but they just remind me of spits (if you're like me and chew the shell and seed into mush. though i think i'll stop doing that because i heard my boss used to do that and had really bad stomach problems because of it). here we were sitting on wreck/rec beach waiting for these suckers to kick in and give us that shitty stomach ache like you've been poisoned feeling when a topless blonde damsel in red bikini bottoms in front of us shouts out, "what're u guyz drinking?!" as she gulps down a frozen mudslide freezie, tits to the wind. "nothing right now, we've got something else brewing around inside." i replied, "what's that thing you're eating?", "it's a mudslide!". she leans over to her another topless friend and says "look how scared they look!". that was the last we saw of 'shelly'. bitch. i hope that name joke gets across.
Fil was getting antsy after about 45 minutes of surveying the beach so we gave it another 10 minutes and took to the forest like we had originally planned. we packed up our backpacks and headed to where we thought the trail began. we crossed a muddy green swamp by hopping rock to rock to get to the other side. why did the magicians hop from rock to rock? to get to the other side.
we achieved our goal and started down the trail still waiting for that stomach ache and our trip to begin. as we walked up hills, over roots, and under trees we were passed by the odd naked man wearing only sandals (if that), sunglasses (if that), a hat (if that), and a towel over his shoulder. further down the trail we began to pass more and more began to pass us. i won't go on forever about naked men so i'll just sum it up and say that it was really comical after a while and im sick of seeing dicks. we stopped for a bit on a set of logs just off the path still not high after almost 2 hours. i think we all felt something, but it turned into nothing. the four of us decided to continue our planned hike regardless of what color the trees were. it was a really neat hike dodging under fallen streets and walking on skinny logs through mud patches. we eventually reached the very end of the path to a little sanctuary with a man made bench made from driftwood. charlie had rolled a bone earlier that day as a back up and like a pineapple express we toasted it. toasted the bone in the evening sun at the end of the trail. we made the best of the situation and im proud of us for that, not that i doubted it for any reason but it turned out to be a great day even without the ground turning into paisley beneath our feet. it was still plain old dirt and green leaves, and we were all pretty happy walking back a little lifted. 

marcus is coming to visit for the weekend. he should arrive tonight around 9:30 and im really looking forward to it. here's a music video care of the the playlist he's got going as we speak. drive safe. 

 

this house really is becoming a work of art. if i had to make an educated guess (although i've spent most of my adult life working), i would guess that over 30 people have had it out with the walls of this place. some are really good, some are really bad. i never understood the marking system for art in school. sure, you get a list of criteria to follow, but isn't what you create your vision of the assignment? cool.

art is cool.

anyway, vancouver. actually, on a more interesting note, matt groening just released the whereabouts of americas favorite (and longest time running) cartoon tv family, the simpsons. they live in oregon. cool. oregon is coool.

glad to know they're from the west coast. i've actually only been there in my head. dreams.

dreams are cool.

something of which i haven't had much of. the aspiration type or the regular dream kind.

again, i sin. i suppose i have. me, me, me. selfish douche.

i suppose i daydream a fair amount, as much as the next human. rome, paris, tokyo. google images is a GOD SEND. when i visited my cousin in tokyo in 2010, i asked him why he moved there. he said "because i wanted to live in one of the biggest cities in the world." that was basically it. he's been there for almost 6 years now, if my memory serves me. that was pretty inspiring, considering that i consider him to be the older brother my dad never shot out.

inspiration is cool.

so i've been sitting on that idea for a year and a half now. i now find myself in vancouver as of august 2011. i feel that this city is a small stepping stone for me. no one smiles here. very rarely do i hear laughing, unless it's coming from 17th and ash where some great friends with great laughs live. i have met some great people here, though. yes, i digress. i'd like to do the same thing, but in a different city. rome or paris. i've been told rome isn't a place where you'd want to live. i'll have to explore italy on google a little further. i dream of riding my bike towards vatican city as the sun sets behind it, illuminating the city in ochers and umbers. i then would ride home, sweaty in the evening breeze, only to find a beautiful naked roman women lying on my bed. her name is peter, but that doesn't stop me.

i always get stumped when these thoughts arise in my head of what would i do to support myself. i don't have much of a post-secondary education. yet. i still believe linguistics and either french, italian or japanese await my tongue. which one? all? i'll figure it out.

progression strikes! i'm on my way to hunt down parts for my bike with a friend via creepy craig.

come on baby light my fiya! cool.

jim morrison is cooool.

check out the song european oils by destroyer.

POGY TRAIN

boy oh boy, my motivation is kaputt.
dear diary - actually, fuck you diary.
i've been on ei for what seems like a dogs life time. because you know, they age seven times faster blah blah. it honestly had a good start. i was excited to have all the free time in the world, to do whatever I pleased. quickly i realized having free time costs money. for most things, anyway.
i have been writing/playing music, reading a little bit and exploring the ever expanding catalog of woody allen films with my roommate. this passed summer i purchased a cinelli bike frame as a winter project. it's currently sitting on the forks in my room against the hideous dusty-aqua-blueberry color that I'm surrounded by. art.
at least i'm a few pounds shy of this fella -

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=175221829182669&set=a.175221825849336.36486.175099529194899&type=3


not to fret - i'm going back to school in the new year. oo la la!
i'm looking forward to using my days reading, learning, asking questions like, 'why?', 'how?', and 'what the fuck, teach?' (hopefully john travolta is in my class). instead of getting up at the ass crack of dawn to light a cigarette, throw a on a pair of coveralls, and walk...no, march towards a pulp mill to install insulation board to a broken boiler with an army of undesirables in the middle of no where. not anymore! now I get to sleep a half hour later, take a bus to north vancouver, ogle at vancouvers finest, hit the books and feel good about where my life might be headed.

we're about five hours and forty minutes away from being right smack dab in the very middle of the month.
i'm going to go put that in my pipe and smoke it....then watch one day starring anne hathaway.

I GUESS I'LL SEE YA'ROUND

it's taken me a few of days to muster up something to begin this text adventure with, but while crossing a street on a walk recently it hit me, like a ton of bricks. the kind of bricks that you'd use to hit a man wearing glasses. i've got a child-sized bone to pick with facebook. ladies and gentlemen, std's and sti's, giraffes and astronauts, i give you the "like" button. leave it to mark z. and his idea sluts to shut the mouths and minds of their users. "perhaps instead of actually allowing them their own opinion, we create a button, that you'd click, that allows our users to "like" a certain comment, or photo without having to think for themselves.." mark z. you're an intelligent guy, but you're a shepard that's leading your sheep into a small pen with no arm room and limited oxygen called 1984.
1. stop the population from having any conviction
2. quickly thrust your arm towards the scrote.
3. grab and hold.
4. do not let go.